Cry Of The Loon …(Predictably Swayed)

AP – Press Release – March 15, 2005
In a stunning reversal talk show host Ed Shultz said today that he is no longer if favor of drilling in ANWAR. He commented that he would be immediately selling his SUV and begin driving a Hugo. Ed gave 3 reasons for his switch.


AP – Press Release – March 24, 2005

Talk show host Ed Schultz shocked his audience today by reversing his opinion on farm subsidies. He said he regretted being in favor of $300 billion in aid. He announced that from this point on he would only be happy with $900 billion in farm subsidies. He listed 11 reasons for his change of mind.


AP – Press Release – April 4, 2005

Ed Schultz, national talk show host, surprisingly amended a previous opinion today. Ed gave his audience credit for swaying his decision to pass out condoms to fifth graders. He listed 31 reasons for this policy change. He said his only wish is that the 5th graders make love on a sleep comfort bed like him and his wife do.


AP – Press Release – April 26, 2005

In another change of strategy talk show host Ed Schultz made an about face in announcing he is now in favor of gay marriage. He said while once being paranoid of homos he now finds that many of his friends are gay. He listed 87 reasons for this modification.


AP – Press Release – May 11, 2005

In what has now become somewhat predictable, Ed Schultz, host of the syndicated Ed Shultz Show, reversed his previous stance on meat eating. He gave credit to his audience for the conversion and promised to become a vegetarian. He also stated he would become and active member in PETA. He apologized for being so insensitive to fish with his Big Eddie spinners and promised they would immediately be taken off the market. He gave 156 reasons for making this decision.


AP – Press Release – May 20,2005

Once again Ed Shultz has changed his mind. In what is becoming almost a ritual he announced today that he no longer believes Americans have the right to own guns. He joined his audience calling for a repeal of the second amendment. He did say however that Native Americans should still be allowed to hunt. He gave 278 reasons for this adjustment in opinion.


AP – Press Release – June 7, 2005

What now has become expected, Ed Schultz was predictably swayed by callers to his national show. In a matter of 15 minutes he openly changed his mind on NAMBLA. He credited his brilliant audience for opening his mind up to the North American Man/Boy Love Association. He said these men would be good mentors to young boys. He listed 835 reasons for his change.