A Boston Tea Party …(Please Come Back)

Step right up. Welcome to the circus known as the judicial confirmation hearings. For your entertainment we have three very interesting acts all under one tent. The price of admission is well worth it. We promise these acts will shock and amaze you. If you are not satisfied we offer a full refund.

Our first act stars Joe Biden the Senator from Delaware as the man who never stops talking. He promises to bore you to death with the longest sentences known to man. Listen carefully because every time you think he is about to finish he will surprise you and continue. You will be in awe at how he can speak on and on and on without taking a breath. In the end you will leave being astonished with how much he likes to hear himself talk. Because there is a chance you may fall asleep management does suggest viewing his act more than once so that you can hear what you may have missed while you dozed off. Again the circus is proud to present Joe Biden as the man “who can speak for hours without really saying anything”. Enjoy his show.

Our second act stars Senator Charles Schumer of New York. Charles promises to dumbfound you as the man who only talks about one subject. Feel free to ask him any question you want and test him. You will find he only talks about abortion. No matter what you ask him he will not waiver from that subject. Many of the most intelligent people in the world have tried to trick him into discussing something other than abortion and have failed. May be you can be the one to change this man with the “one track mind”. You are allowed to yell, scream, or distract Mr. Schumer in any manner you like but please management asks that you don’t yell “fire” while under the tent. Mr. Schumer will leave you wondering if he knows anything at all about something other than abortion. This man truly is a marvel of nature. Never before has one man been consumed entirely with one issue as much as he is. He is one of our most popular acts.

Our final and longest running act is Massachusetts Senator Ted Kennedy. Every circus needs a freak to really shock people and that is Ted. Some have called him a dinosaur. Others have called him an idiot. He may be both. One thing is for sure you will fall on your butt laughing as you listen to him speak. We must tell you though to make sure and listen closely because many of his comments are not very coherent but we think that is part of his charm. Again we present Ted Kennedy as the man “who doesn’t know what the hell is talking about “. What really makes Teddy so popular is his willingness to say anything regardless of truth. People have watched him for over 30 years and laugh more each year. While it may seem that Ted has had a few to many management promises he has not been drinking. It is just Ted being Ted. Management does, however, ask you not to feed him.

We thank you for coming to the judicial nomination circus and hope you liked the show. Please come back the next time a conservative judge is nominated and please bring a friend.